Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Things we learned from XFiles

Recently, I discovered that the extraordinarily strange El Rey* channel way up in the numbers plays The X-Files in the afternoon several days a week, and so I've been soaking in the vintage fandom goodness. And I'm noticing some life lessons the show passes on...

1. Scars are always a sign of creepiness and creepiness always scars you in a way people can see with a casual glance at the back of your neck or behind your ear or on your upper arm

2. When faced with a reasonable explanation, it's probably actually the weird impossible one that's right. If its the simple one, its the simple one that sounds super-crazy.

3. Codependency involving all sorts of really weird obligations = true love. Like autopsies at all hours, or "I know this sounds crazy, but trust me", or late-night drama that you can't tell anyone about. Totally true love.

4. Barely-seen monsters are the scariest.

5. Humans are usually the cause of the worst unexplained phenomena, one way or another.

6. Stoners, children, crazy people, and circus freaks know much more about reality than anyone else ever. Also, they're much more likely to disappear, mutate, or die horribly than anyone else.

8. Everyone's parents have really weird secrets they aren't telling you. EVERYONE's.

9. The government is WAY more organized and in control than anyone ever once gave them credit for, because there's no other way to explain something so complex, and yet so little-known as this Conspiracy.

10. ALL forms of physical contact and / or all combinations of glances between partners are Meaningful. Everything has so much subtext that it totally drowns all actual text. 

What life lessons have you gotten from The X-Files? Share in the comments!

* Old cop shows during the day, X-Files alternating with Dark Angel in the afternoons, and Chopsaki and various 'sploitation films and grind house at night? What?
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