Friday, August 15, 2014

Hell On Wheels s4e2 liveblog roundup!

As you may or may not know, I frequently liveblog shows over on my tumblr--here's what I thought about Hell On Wheels this week:

  • Three more minutes until Hell On Wheels plays a rousing game of How Can We Piss Sami Off This Week?
  • "mumble mumble mumble?" "glare" "mumble!" "(bang bang bang!!)"
  • Ha! Over ruled by Bohannon!
  • And even the dad!
  • "your situation gets curiouser and curiouser, sir!"— no kidding, dude!
  • Now they want him to build them a railroad?? What. Even. Is. This. BS?
  • I continue to be done with the whole Mormon storyline. Sorry, actual Mormons, but this is dumb and needless.
  • "you sound like an unreconstructed southerner, but don’t worry, we’ll handle all that."
  • Hey, Ruth. And some exposition.
  • Don’t send that kid away, too. We don’t need a no-kids-allowed policy on this show.
  • Look at him holding that tiny baby in his big murdery hands.
  • I like Bohannon doing things. This whole storyline has been severely lacking action on the part of the dude who was most active in the beginning.
  • I’m going to rewrite the last two seasons where instead of Mormons, Bohannon was poached by the other railroad, because that’s a story that needed to be told and wasn’t. Also would be more fun.
  • Do not send Ezra away. It would verify that last season’s story set-up means nothing and make him pointless. Also, if Durant was all “I’m an orphan too”, he should just take him in. You can adopt a kid and still be a villain.
  • Hey, the newspaper and the news lady! Remember when there were other characters in this show, like these?
  • Ugh, now Eva has to clean up blood off that floor.
  • I dearly hope these new Feds unite the old cast and get them working together again.
  • Ha! Swede’s WTF face is amazing.
  • But what the fuckity fuck is even going on with that plot??
  • So…he’s forcing him into a position where he has to forgive him and let him go, or he has to expose himself…?
  • Ha! Getting him to righteously confess!!!!
  • Bohannon could have been a tv preacher, who knew?
  • Please let that be the end of this BS story! That was neat!
  • Come on brave telling them Elam is their new hero! Or that he says they need to team up!
  • What if that was literally exactly what Bohannon yelled at him, right down to the liver for the crows, but neither understood each other?
  • Why are they going to kill the dude in the casino, blocking up business, instead of building a gallows their behavior says they’ll need anyway?
  • And now Eva’s got to mop up pee, too? She should organize a women’s rebellion.
  • Look at big ol Cheyenne being all tiny in actuality!
  • Train in the river: (is in the river) Bohannon:(side eyes so hard he falls off the wagon)
  • Is that the same horse Bohannon had?
  • Somes is happy to see him!
  • Whoops. Your weird ass storyline detour killed your best friend.
  • "who’s Elam?" "(man pain too much to answer because caring is for girls)"
I continue to be so over the Mormon Plot and Eva's Plot, that it's amazing I even want to watch this show right now. 

The Mormon one because it makes no sense--like, they want to kill him for killing their son, but no one even mentions that it's the father's fault it happened and they must've known that shady stuff was going on with him, but then when Naomi is all like "I'll marry him", they all decide to make him one of them? Even though he says he's made a deal and he's leaving the second it's done? And the dad is okay with that and no crappy weirdness is there anymore, but the mom is all "you can die and I'll take that baby"? But then when it's time for him to go, she's not even there, doesn't protest, and says not a thing more on the subject? And what the hell was the Swede (Norwegian) even up to???

And then Eva? She's just getting crap after crap after crap, her friendships that she made last season with the Newslady and the other whores (and Ruth? did she make friends with Ruth?) are totally ignored--though they do remember that Durant is nice to her when he's not nice to anyone else. So...guys' plots stick and girls' don't? And I mean, she's literally cleaning up everyone's mess and no one cares much? And it's also tied in with Mickey being all sorts of squicky, and whatever the hell the plot is doing with Elam (is he really dead? if he is, the show is gonna suck so much more than it already does, and if he isn't, it seems even meaner that they're basically punishing her for trying to do what she thought was right, so...).

And then Ezra! He was the only one who could verify that the Swede was who Bohannon said he was, and now that plot point isn't needed because Bohannon did it himself, and Ezra's going delinquent and going to be sent away like a plot no one loves, so what? No kids allowed?

Basically? Not pleased.
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